<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" version="2.0"><channel><atom:link rel="hub" href="http://tumblr.superfeedr.com/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"/><description>My name is Alan Starzinski, I am a comedian and this is just a collection of thoughts, bits, jokes, and whatever I decide.</description><title>Figure it out.</title><generator>Tumblr (3.0; @alanstarzinski)</generator><link>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/</link><item><title>Photo</title><description>&lt;img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/55a436f36688cb086ac61b801f5451aa/tumblr_mnbxnqsmQR1qb9pa3o1_500.gif"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;</description><link>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/51304798609</link><guid>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/51304798609</guid><pubDate>Sat, 25 May 2013 10:58:12 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>When I was super young, I barely remember this. #tbt</title><description>&lt;img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/6712bafe9da89dffac7b8bfe1393a022/tumblr_mn9fsp1j9h1qf0zr2o1_500.jpg"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;When I was super young, I barely remember this. #tbt&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/51155743520</link><guid>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/51155743520</guid><pubDate>Thu, 23 May 2013 12:43:37 -0400</pubDate><category>tbt</category></item><item><title>This is the actress that played Rita Repulsa from Power Rangers </title><description>&lt;img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/936e6ad241abe7d0985686cc81c7c965/tumblr_mn7owoiMHp1qf0zr2o1_500.jpg"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;This is the actress that played Rita Repulsa from Power Rangers &lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/51081977450</link><guid>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/51081977450</guid><pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 14:05:12 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>I like to text my mom and tell her that her celebrity crushes...</title><description>&lt;img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/00cc955c58a3c431fc1e701a7fbf6438/tumblr_mn652sT2ut1qf0zr2o1_500.jpg"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;I like to text my mom and tell her that her celebrity crushes are gay.&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/51018463655</link><guid>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/51018463655</guid><pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 17:59:16 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>All the paper towel dispensers at my work are in Daft Punk.</title><description>&lt;img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/eca6dd9bf2b5abd9a696447cf021b0ae/tumblr_mn5tu08biL1qf0zr2o1_500.jpg"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;All the paper towel dispensers at my work are in Daft Punk.&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/51001192776</link><guid>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/51001192776</guid><pubDate>Tue, 21 May 2013 13:56:24 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>This man is arguing politics with “The rent is too damn...</title><description>&lt;img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/72e5253335f423e0095d6df6dc4f76ea/tumblr_mn0wqrWGNT1qf0zr2o1_500.jpg"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;This man is arguing politics with “The rent is too damn high” dude. I love this city.&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50777992058</link><guid>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50777992058</guid><pubDate>Sat, 18 May 2013 22:11:14 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>All of these bacon candies are now my god.</title><description>&lt;img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/333d1858bc103b6d8d7e9b66a2d81757/tumblr_mn09msHDZI1qf0zr2o1_500.jpg"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;All of these bacon candies are now my god.&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50743426378</link><guid>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50743426378</guid><pubDate>Sat, 18 May 2013 13:52:04 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>Juxtaposition.</title><description>&lt;img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/8af1f1cc3ac6184b0988b3e062ddf00c/tumblr_mn07aqpyMt1qf0zr2o1_500.jpg"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;Juxtaposition.&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50739873844</link><guid>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50739873844</guid><pubDate>Sat, 18 May 2013 13:01:37 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>Photo</title><description>&lt;img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/f658e100e5d18180c9c9e477c543dd2d/tumblr_mg6lkmN0Iz1r7qnjjo1_500.jpg"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;</description><link>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50711300964</link><guid>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50711300964</guid><pubDate>Sat, 18 May 2013 02:17:02 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>John is sad cuz thought this was sorbet and it’s ice...</title><description>&lt;img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/e1e70f222279e034b62569a1705846ad/tumblr_mmxa4fkE871qf0zr2o1_500.jpg"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;John is sad cuz thought this was sorbet and it’s ice cream. He can’t have ice cream.&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50627082315</link><guid>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50627082315</guid><pubDate>Thu, 16 May 2013 23:09:51 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>This is incredible.</title><description>&lt;iframe width="400" height="225" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/O95DBxnXiSo?wmode=transparent&amp;autohide=1&amp;egm=0&amp;hd=1&amp;iv_load_policy=3&amp;modestbranding=1&amp;rel=0&amp;showinfo=0&amp;showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen&gt;&lt;/iframe&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;This is incredible.&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50503297217</link><guid>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50503297217</guid><pubDate>Wed, 15 May 2013 12:39:13 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>Boom</title><description>&lt;img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/f9e55ed1bcbdc1144e97524dddf80523/tumblr_mmm1ljkxvq1re5k83o1_500.jpg"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;Boom&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50407140212</link><guid>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50407140212</guid><pubDate>Tue, 14 May 2013 03:15:58 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>pleasingaesthetics:

npr:

This is Canadian astronaut Commander...</title><description>&lt;iframe width="400" height="225" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/KaOC9danxNo?wmode=transparent&amp;autohide=1&amp;egm=0&amp;hd=1&amp;iv_load_policy=3&amp;modestbranding=1&amp;rel=0&amp;showinfo=0&amp;showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen&gt;&lt;/iframe&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://pleasingaesthetics.tumblr.com/post/50350371666/npr-this-is-canadian-astronaut-commander-chris" class="tumblr_blog"&gt;pleasingaesthetics&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://npr.tumblr.com/post/50346935062/this-is-canadian-astronaut-commander-chris"&gt;npr&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt;This is Canadian astronaut Commander Chris Hadfield, performing David Bowie’s “Space Oddity” while floating around the International Space Station. You may have last seen the space station team walking around in outer space fixing stuff.&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;p&gt;— &lt;a href="http://www.npr.org/blogs/monkeysee/2013/05/13/183579174/space-oddity-in-space-yes-astronauts-are-still-the-coolest-humans"&gt;‘Space Oddity’ In Space: Yes, Astronauts Are Still The Coolest Humans : Monkey See &lt;br/&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;/blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;You will never do anything this cool.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;

&lt;p&gt;He is gonna get so much space ass.&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50353653080</link><guid>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50353653080</guid><pubDate>Mon, 13 May 2013 14:04:33 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>Nicole Byer: Happy Dead Mothers Day! </title><description>&lt;a href="http://nicolebyer.tumblr.com/post/50279825150/happy-dead-mothers-day"&gt;Nicole Byer: Happy Dead Mothers Day! &lt;/a&gt;: &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://nicolebyer.tumblr.com/post/50279825150/happy-dead-mothers-day" class="tumblr_blog"&gt;nicolebyer&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;

&lt;blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;span&gt;October 17th was the 10th anniversary of my mother’s death, and this is the 10th mother’s day without her. I wish I told her more how much I appreciated her and that I loved her. I guess I’m writing this for me? I don’t know. I don’t ever want to forget things about her, and I get so jealous when…&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;

&lt;p&gt;This is fucking beautiful.&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50310186274</link><guid>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50310186274</guid><pubDate>Sun, 12 May 2013 22:03:06 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>coloringwitheyeliner:

iguessthisiscalledgrowingup:

farmers-daug...</title><description>&lt;img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/39da5df45a0ebc9e2e23dfdbcba419e3/tumblr_mmjslpl44t1rq7z94o1_400.gif"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://coloringwitheyeliner.tumblr.com/post/50229937902/iguessthisiscalledgrowingup"&gt;coloringwitheyeliner&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://iguessthisiscalledgrowingup.tumblr.com/post/50221911197"&gt;iguessthisiscalledgrowingup&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://farmers-daughterrr.tumblr.com/post/50218005014/luxbrumalis-unknownelandes-so-thats-how"&gt;farmers-daughterrr&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://luxbrumalis.tumblr.com/post/50212492078/unknownelandes-so-thats-how-they-do-it-only"&gt;luxbrumalis&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://unknownelandes.tumblr.com/post/50173282354/so-thats-how-they-do-it"&gt;unknownelandes&lt;/a&gt;:&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;SO THAT’S HOW THEY DO IT&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;/blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;only tumblr&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;/blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt;WHAT THE!&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;/blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt;My whole life&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;/blockquote&gt;
&lt;p&gt;you guys didnt know that?&lt;/p&gt;
&lt;/blockquote&gt;

&lt;p&gt;Kaplow.  Mind blown.&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50309773309</link><guid>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50309773309</guid><pubDate>Sun, 12 May 2013 21:58:02 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>This is the best woman I’ve ever known. She is eating...</title><description>&lt;img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/834a816e9aa47f162fcf7761f880a164/tumblr_mmp7un2uUe1qf0zr2o1_500.jpg"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;This is the best woman I’ve ever known. She is eating toast.&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50276571866</link><guid>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50276571866</guid><pubDate>Sun, 12 May 2013 14:39:59 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>I had to throw away my smoke canisters :(((</title><description>&lt;img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/2a167a6b3bf0502fa8109edf7915d9ef/tumblr_mmndodcf4u1qf0zr2o1_500.jpg"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;I had to throw away my smoke canisters :(((&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50185170503</link><guid>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50185170503</guid><pubDate>Sat, 11 May 2013 14:50:37 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>This is the greatest song to ever exist.</title><description>&lt;iframe width="400" height="225" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/2pMM4iwC-ag?wmode=transparent&amp;autohide=1&amp;egm=0&amp;hd=1&amp;iv_load_policy=3&amp;modestbranding=1&amp;rel=0&amp;showinfo=0&amp;showsearch=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen&gt;&lt;/iframe&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;This is the greatest song to ever exist.&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50101491893</link><guid>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50101491893</guid><pubDate>Fri, 10 May 2013 14:21:37 -0400</pubDate></item><item><title>A valentine’s day card I made and never gave. One day I...</title><description>&lt;img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/705e31f60a43d7c0d9597c5fc27dfa69/tumblr_mmjm0xp2LY1qf0zr2o1_500.jpg"/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;&lt;p&gt;A valentine’s day card I made and never gave. One day I plan to give this to someone. #tbt&lt;/p&gt;</description><link>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50023882248</link><guid>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/50023882248</guid><pubDate>Thu, 09 May 2013 14:00:32 -0400</pubDate><category>tbt</category></item><item><title>"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the..."</title><description>“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”&lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt; - &lt;em&gt;Teddy Roosevelt, “Citizenship in a Republic.” &lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt; (via &lt;a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://williebhines.tumblr.com/"&gt;williebhines&lt;/a&gt;)&lt;/em&gt;</description><link>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/49632800914</link><guid>http://alanstarzinski.tumblr.com/post/49632800914</guid><pubDate>Sat, 04 May 2013 19:33:19 -0400</pubDate></item></channel></rss>
